I hate you Petrozavodsk, you're awesome.

Life is slowly becoming "normal" here, meaning I've started to find my way around the city and although I really don't have a daily rhythm, I could have one if I wanted to. I got my room "upgraded" after complaining about the prison-level (yeah okay Finnish prison, not Russian) bed and a sore back and the passive-aggressive roommate. I got to move into a bigger room with a decent bed and more space and, most importantly, a lovely roommate. Olga is from Ukraine and studies Finnish. I feel a lot better about living in the общежитие (obshezhitie, dormitory) now.

One of the most wonderful things is that there are Russian sentences coming out of my mouth. They are rarely grammatically even close to correct but that doesn't matter. I'm speaking in sentences, not just single words like before. I guess four double lessons of Russian per week is helping. As well as sitting on lectures in Russian, as well as living with someone who actually wants to speak Russian with me. I also got a "tandem" in Russian. In tandem study two native speakers who study each other's languages get together to practise. I had the first meeting with my tandem, a medical student called Dinara, today. She's just lovely. A very talkative and a joyful person. We had a great time and I think I will learn a lot by just talking with her.

In Saint Petersburg with Atte and Xavier

Being an exchange student in emotionally quite hard, I must say. Just because each emotion is bigger than at home. Without the usual social safety net, sadness and loneliness feel stronger. There's so much going on that I feel excited everyday. There's interesting, wonderful people everywhere. Being here is rewarding and draining at the same time, like a friend of mine put it. I'm tired all the time but that's no wonder. It's hard to get to sleep at night and I have nightmares. The initial weight-loss has been tackled and the problem is now a more, well, sort of a traditional exchange student weight problem. I did sign up for a ladies gym just around the corner. The gym has some features that a Finnish ladies gym would probably wouldn't have, including a dance class titled "strip dance".

Some days I feel really alien in this city. The other day I went to a café and was given some really bad looks by a young woman. I couldn't figure out why. Possibly my shoes were too dirty (they're always too dirty) or my clothes were too weird or she remembered me from uni and didn't like foreigners. Sometimes it would be nice to blend in better. I've learnt to avoid speaking foreign languages too loudly on the phone. Some of my friends have been told not to speak English on the bus. I know this is nothing compared to something that many foreign people go through in Finland on a daily basis but it's interesting to see things from "this side". I went to Saint Petersburg last weekend and it was nice to be a little less "special" for a while.

Nevertheless, right now there's no place I'd rather be than the beautiful, dirty Petrozavodsk.

Help Soviet style

A few quiet weeks with the blog. I guess it means I'm starting to have a life here, which isn't bad at all. Now that I the social work training period is finished, I'll try to summarise some of my experiences there.

There are about 20 people working at the centre (of 40 beds!). This includes cleaners, medical staff, social workers, a psychologist and a lawyer. For there to be enough work for everyone, the way work errands are carried out must be very ineffective. For example, there's something called "акция" (akstiya) carried out at the centre about once a month. It lasts a few days, during which a lot of homeless people come to get medical check-ups, clothes and a warm meal. Everyone receiving help must register and a form must be filled. The form is a page full of questions, such as passport number, (former) occupation, level of education etc. The form must be filled each time, even if they've been there before. Majority of the people have been. There are computers at the centre and I just found it impossible to understand, why not create files for these people on the computer, just so that they wouldn't have to give the same information a hundred times. But why do that, when doing things like that employs more people? During the aktsiya the centre, to me, was chaotic. People running back and forth and no one knowing what's happening. But in the end, the people in need got their meals and clean clothes, so I guess their system worked.

Преодоление (Preodoleniye, Overcoming) is the only municipal centre for homeless people in Petrozavodsk. After this month or so I got to follow the work done there, I must say, I don't think help really got to these people. Most of the help provided by the centre has to do with helping these people with their documents. Of course, they also got help concerning finding a place to live and medical help, even help to fight alcohol addiction. It's just that, in my opinion, these people aren't really encountered in any way. The psychologic "help" they receive, if I understood correctly, consists mainly of some tests and questionnaires. I don't think the help provided by this centre helps many people to find "a new beginning". Judging by the amount of messy blue hand tattoos, majority of the clients are former convicts. In Russia it must be really difficult, if not impossible, to reintegrate into society after having been to prison.

A few weeks ago I was asked by the centre director whether I wanted to take part on an excursion visiting a monastery. Of course I did. With my amazing Russian, all I understood of his explanation where these three things (excursion, monastery, do you want to join?) so I really had little idea what was going to happen. I assumed it would be an excursion with the workers of the shelter, where the monasteries would tell about the charity work they do or something of that sort. It turned out to be an excursion for homeless people. Me and Tanya and a worker from the centre and about 10–15 clients of the centre dressed in their best got on a minibus and drove to two different monasteries on the Leningrad Oblast, Введено-Ояатский женский монастырь (a female monastery by the side of river Oyatskiy) and Свято-Троицкий Александра Свирского мужской монастырь (The monastery of Alexander Svirsky, suomeksi Aleksanteri Syväriläisen Pyhän kolminaisuuden luostari).

Lunch break

When we got on the bus, I imagined that the trip was organised by the monasteries, that the clients of the centre would be greeted by people from the monasteries, maybe they would be provided a meal, maybe the would get to discuss with someone if they wanted to. I had my hopes up, maybe these people would get some help, maybe somebody would listen to their worries. But no. We were given basic guided tours to the monasteries. Some time for prayer was given and many of the clients seemed quite touched especially by the relics of Alexander Svirsky.  I'm sure many of the clients were happy to be on the trip but still, I was disappointed. If I worked in a monastery and heard that a group of homeless people was coming to visit, I would organise something. Just do something to make these people feel a little better, try and show that someone cares.

Alexander Svirsky Monastery

I really wanted to talk to these people but I didn't know what to say with my poor Russian. Now I feel sad that I didn't even try. I mean, I could've asked for their names or just something really simple. One image from this trip has stayed with me. A small old man, standing in the middle of a church, in trousers way too big. Clenching his hat in his hands, with a very serious look on his face. Looking so tiny and so lost. Bless him.